P-Mate Tested By BoatTEST Staff - 05/13/2009

Given all of the complaining we have heard from women over the years about how men were much better adapted for small boats than women, we were a bit surprised that the female members of the BoatTEST staff did not jump on the P-Mate testing project with a little more alacrity. After all, this was their chance to even up the score. There was actually some grumbling among a couple of staffers as if asking an employee to pee in a small paper device (in private!) might be contrary to the spirit of the Equal Employment Act (would we have to ask male staffers to test it, too?)

These three photos show the P-Mate in all of its revolutionary splendor. All testers agreed that it is anatomically correct. But did it work?

In an effort to try to entice more women into boating, BoatTEST.com has diverged from our usually testing subjects to that of a new product for women. We entreated our gentle staff to submit to this indignity for the greater good of the sport. Finally, two brave souls volunteered to test the P-Mates for the good of the sport.

No Jeans

The first thing all of our testers agree on was using the P-Mate while wearing blue jeans that are anywhere near one’s waist is a non-starter. Both of our testers were dubious about the ability to use the P-Mate in mixed company with the appropriate propriety with any sort of trousers on. Both said that very baggy shorts, a dress, or a long tee shirt would probably be the best attire for retaining one’s modesty and using the P-mate at the same time.

We fear that this discovery strikes at the very root of the appeal of the P-Mate for many women who obviously were looking forward to the wearing the pants in the family.

P-Mates cost about $2.50 per unit and come in packs of three and five.

Both ladies reported having trouble getting the hang of it, first aiming the spout too high, then too far to one side or the other. These tests were obviously done in a toilet (not on a boat as we had directed) as one of the testers wrote in her report “…since it is possible with the P-Mate to leave a little dribble on the seat, it is easier just to pull the toilet seat up so you have a larger diameter to work with.” Well put.

Prefers a Cup

One of our testers became a little testy and said that the P-Mate was not suitable for a small boat and that she would rather use a cup. When we said that we had seen this routine before and that most cups weren’t big enough, and runneth over onto the white fiberglass, our testy tester began to show some testosterone.

“Don’t put P-Mates on your Christmas gift list for me,” she said.

Passing the Test

Our other tester was much more up-beat about the P-Mate saying that it “Fits easily into a clutch purse and if carefully swabbed out with TP can be used over and over.” This tester suggested that women only go out on boats large enough to have swim platforms and “climb out on them, and begin your business with the P-Mate. Don’t forget to let out a big Ahhhh exhale, then casually turn around as if nothing has happened and say…refills anyone?”